Two Hearts

When everything is normal [at least thats what i want to think for the time being ] there is a sense of fear grips my heart. I am worried that what i will do if i ‘lost her’. Infact ! I am even more worried thinking , what if i am no more , how she will live without me. And the fear grips so much that i can’t sleep , Panic Attack!!! my body starts to jerk every 3rd minute and she wakes up and asks ‘what’s wrong’? .
Should i tell her ! i pause for a moment kiss her gently and said
‘what if one of us dies and we have to live alone ? .
She is taken back ..and looks at the watch’s 4am..
“Why you think that one of us will die”?
I said ‘I don’t know dear.. i am just scared.. i just can’t get over it’
She gave me a hug and said ‘Oh honey! it’s OK ! Just pray and sleep.. everything will be alright”
I prayed and went back to bed .. trying to sleep…can’t get sleep..
After few minutes she asked..”Sweety ..are you awake?”
I said ‘Yes love, i am awake, still can’t get sleep”
She asked ”Just for the records..if you die , how long i have to wait to get married again?”
WHAT? “!…the Bed light is on and i wants to choke her…
She just held me tight and warm and said ‘ I was just kidding’…let’s sleep’
‘But i wonder “am i the only one with this fear? Does every couple , mothers , parents go through this pace of life ?” …well! for the time bieng i am not over this fear… i am just taking refuge at ‘The ONE above’….
BTW … Today is moving day..moving to a new flat …

8 comments on “Two Hearts

  1. I’d be more worried about moving!! well as they say better love and lose than not love at all -cliche i know.. but enjoy what you have and if you keep thinking of negative thoughts you would not be getting out of bed at all!

  2. Everyone have their own share of such thoughts. Even I have. But, you have to overcome it. Love and live life. Enjoy together. Have fun while you can. Whatever has to happen tomorrow will happen. Why waste your present with negative thoughts about future?? Be positive and enjoy.

  3. Thanks guys ! and thanks to moving to a new apartment.. i am dead tierd and there is not a part in my body thats not aching… i think it’s time to get on with life like you said !

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