I’ve been trying to write this post for last 4 hours but the little horror wouldn’t allow, finally now that he is asleep i want to tear open my heart tonight because im not at peace… the story goes like this
I Was having a normal convo with Kay my friend and some how it turned towards ‘fathers’ and it was really saddening to know that how Kay’s life changed because his father was a bloody torturer, some of the stories he told me brought tears in to my eyes, because i could relate to him, my father never liked me ( i’m sorry i have to do it here because i shut down my therapy blog) . First he was never there for me, then the time i spent with him i hated him, because it became hell on earth to live with a ‘mental’ drunkard in a one room kitchen house, there were no other rooms in the house to escape the mad man, we were there in front of his eyes listining to the cribbing and whining how his life went wrong because of the early demise of his mother and twin sister and how his brothers ill treated him and finally left him at a bus stop the day he passed 10th. We heard these stories a million times,he told us how greatful we should be to him because we are not begging on the streets like him, dare we confront him, he would beat the shit out of us. When i grew up i quit talking to him and became a rebel and the result …. i dropped out of school and became what i am today . WTF no regrets. Its life , Chalta hai!
Anyway the only good memory ( oh! he is still alive) of my dad i have is he stood by me durning my wedding , mom had out casted me for marrying ‘ the droolster’ because of the ‘caste’ thingy yet he stood by me because mom and Dad had married against the will of my Mom’s parents and he didn’t want to be a hypocrite. And he made my mom attend the wedding as well. Well things have been downside since then he resumed drinking once again and when i saw him next ( after 3 years) knife’s flew and lot’s of shit which i wouldn’t want to write here ( i miss my therapy blog). I swore to my self never to see his (dead) face again, and shut him out of my life totlly, Like son Like Father or whatever the crap that it is, he in turn never wished me when AJ was born, but sister told me that he has accessed my picasa albums and admires AJ everyday, Which makes my heart happy, not that he is going to get a second chance againg in this life, but as a token of appriciation for at some time in life he must have held be like i hold AJ today ( and also for the wedding favour) …….. I’m buying him a car. No regretts if it falls of a gorge.
Just out of curiosity … what is/was your father like?
And yeah you must watch this vid.. sooooo helpful.