Twitter: Bringing out assholes in people since 2006

I’ve been on twitter for sometime now, the reason being I quit facebooking. Yes I did, though I haven’t deleted my facebook account, I rarely visit it. But social media is so addictive unknowingly I got hooked onto twitter and before you know it I found myself tweeting in the toilet in the middle of the night. Is my addiction chronic? A little research shows that Twitter / Facebook is more addictive than cigarette and even sex. Now that’s bad for me, specially when I have been told by my Oncologist not stress out much, twitter seems to do the opposite leaving me upset over trivial things while I should be concentrating on things that matter, like ‘life’ perhaps?

   So today morning out of frustration I tweeted ‘I have a life and it is not on Twitter’ followed by a massive urge to delete my twitter account. But somehow I refrained myself from doing that, I guess I need to take a week off or two or months away from this addiction. So what ticked me off to delete my account? Here are my top 10 reasons, (also the kind of people one must avoid on Twitter)

1. PDA’s:Get a effin room, seriously. What’s with people showing affection on Twitter? If you love someone can’t you just call or DM? Public Display of Affection (PDA) gets worse when ‘couples’ go on a chat spree, it’s disturbing, because It’s like cuddling in the open ‘forcing’ me to watch you. 

2. Politicos:Politics is the last bastion of a true twitteratti. Lately politicians have taken over the twitter trends and they even hire people to get these trends running in their favor. Fundamentalists with multiple twitter accounts oppose/support Governments hence sucking you into this ugly pit where mudslinging and foul language is the norm. 

3. Chronic Re-tweeters: What’s with re-tweets? When you have nothing substantial to say on your own or lack the basic humor even, you tend to re-tweet someone else’s witty tweets. Though twitter has a ‘switch off re-tweets’ option which I have applied on certain chronic re-tweeters, sometimes you are bombarded by persons whom you don’t expect it from.  

4.Whiners:Twitter is a great place to share burden, especially when you are PMS’ing. Could it get any bitchier when you have multiple whiners PMS’ing (including men) on your TL for days? Depressing right?

5. Friends/Family who stalk:These are scary bunch; they are always on twitter silently reading your tweets, often reminding you that you are being watched.

6. Assholes:Yep, Assholes, my definition of twitter goes something like this: Twitter- Bringing out assholes in people since 2006.And this includes me, let’s admit it, we are not nice people behind the keyboards. At some point we turn ourselves into A-holes to hurt other people.

7. Jocks:Every one is a sports enthusiastic on twitter, though in reality your sporting skills are minimal to that of donkey balls, you turn into a sports expert during EPL (or name your league) season. And turn twitter into a pandemic of #hashtags during (football/Cricket) matches.

8. Musicians: If you are following indie or little known musicians they just wants you to listen to their music ‘everyday’. It’s like they do not have a life other than music which is quite understood given the fact that only the spammers survive in music industry. Hence they shove that link up almost every hour 24X7.

9. FML’ers:Look at me, look at me, and look at me all the time. Some people are mere attention whores on twitter, it’s like if they didn’t complain about something every second minute the oxygen supply to their brain will stop and they will die. (these tweets end with #FML)

10. One liner’s: These guys tweet random shit which is less than 140 characters, most often these tweets are meaningless and it clutters your timeline.

 So what is the solution for my twitter addiction? I googled, plenty of idea’s how to quit twitter. But for now I have deleted the twitter app on my phone and it feels great.Are you a twitter addict? Find out.


3 comments on “Twitter: Bringing out assholes in people since 2006

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